I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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