how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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