I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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