I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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