If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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