I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
