Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
