North Korea, Best Korea!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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