I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
