Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize