I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
