I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
