try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
