it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize