I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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