thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
