His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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