just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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