last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
