Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
