i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
