Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
