he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
