I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
