I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
