I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
