Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
