i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
