worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
