Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
