my vag is so smooth its legendary
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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