I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
