Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
