i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
