Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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