omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
someone owes me an orgasm
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
