thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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