omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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