she kept yelling 'call me bella'
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We don't watch enough power rangers
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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