weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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