i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
