I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just want nice things and good sex
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
