i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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