there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
