Please, let me fuck your mom
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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