can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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