Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
