As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
