We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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