fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize