i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize