I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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