So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
