If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
