i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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