i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
