they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
