Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
