you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
