Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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