drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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