Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
