Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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