I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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